I would say “Good Morning”, but it’s not. I awoke today in a pretty foul mood, which is unlike me, as I am usually, annoyingly cheerful in the morning once I have had my first caffeine hit of the day. But for some reason (lack of sleep?!) I cannot quite shake the grumps today, so I thought if I shared my petty #firstworldproblems with you all, I may just feel a tad better.
As regular followers will know, I ADORE Cyprus, well most things about it, and I DETEST Cyprus bashers, especially those people lucky/brave enough to make the move, and be welcomed to live here, but some stuff just drives me CRAZY! However lots of stuff drove me POTTY in the UK so I think it’s only fair to share the bad as well as the good.
My rant today is about the NOISE in my village – Yes, we live in a village, NOT a town OR a city, but a fairly quiet village, one would safely assume it should be a peaceful place to live – well think again! Hmmm….. So today I am grumpy, because I am tired, I did not sleep great, and I am REALLY bad at being tired. I would love to declare a duvet day, crawl back into bed, and shut world out for a couple more hours … but even if I could allow myself that luxury, I would not be able to sleep because of my number one pet hate in Cyprus …
- LEAF BLOWERS – For the love of God, can you not just pick up a brush and shovel? or even, heavens above, just pick the bloody leaves up with your hands?! It is bad enough listening to you cut the hedges, but what is it with gardeners in Cyprus, who after they cut the hedge, then spend the next 3 hours (I kid you not!) blowing leaves around, or sucking them up with one of these beastly machines. The noise is anathema to me, never mind nails down a blackboard, this unholy droning on-off noise makes me want to stick pins in my eyes (and quite possible the gardener’s). I am unlucky enough to have a neighbour opposite with a 14 foot high hedge all around his house, I am convinced he is a Russian Spy / International Man of Mystery / Hit Man due to the number of security cameras placed strategically around his house, although he claims to be an estate agent! His garden is so big he not only employs 2 gardeners but also a cleaner just to clean the garden! Okay neighbour, I GET that you have a huge garden, well done you, but can you please tell the gardeners to LAY OFF the Leaf Blowers so early in the morning, or perhaps you can invest in silent ones?! Before I come over there, steal their leaf blowers while they are on a break, and replace them with a nice quiet dustpan and brush.
- BIRDS SINGING – I love nature, and the sound of birds singing … most of the time, but from 5.00am – Is that really neccessary?! Give a girl a break. It’s bad enough that I have to get up for school with H at 6.30am, but come on, you have ALL DAY to tweet merrily and sing your songs. Oh and if you could also stop tapping around in the gutter outside my bedroom window, that would also be amazing too. There is no water in it! you are not actually having a bath! and if you are not careful I am going to get a big scary pretend Hawk to fly around my roof (you can buy these things on Amazon apparently), and that will serve you right!
- BIN MEN – So after the Birds start their racket, and before the Leaf Blowers begin, at 5.30am twice a week we have the Bin Men. Not like in good old Blighty where you are lucky if your bin is collected once every 3 weeks, and only if you have colour coded all your recycling and place bins facing due North in the correct position on the footpath. Here in Cyprus they arrive unfailing twice a week, whistling, chatting, generally being merry, banging the bin store doors, driving their noisy trucks – come on boys (sorry to be sexist but never seen a female bin lady – or should that be refuse disposal operative – yet in Cyprus), it’s definitely too early for all that cheerfulness, knock it off please or you won’t be getting a Christmas tip from me.
- CHURCH BELLS – On a Sunday? Yes, okay I will let you have that, go on – wake up all the village so they can go to church (although you do realise most of us have alarm clocks in this day and age), but at 5.30am?!! I am sure even God would quite like a lie in on this so-called day of rest, I know I would. I am sure the bible says that on the seventh day God had a rest, or he created Madchester, one of the two. Please excuse the random nineties quote, UK Northerners will know what I mean, but nowhere does it say on the seventh day he wakes up at dawn and swings from the Church Bells like Quasimodo, making enough racket to wake the dead. But it’s not just on a Sunday, OH NO! I am certain that our village priest colludes with the Bin Men, to fill the 5.30am weekday gap with bell ringing. And in the village we have not one, not two, but three churches! All with Bells on ….. Grrr
- DOGS – Yapping & Howling anytime of the day and night – like a chain reaction, one starts and the rest join in. I am tempted to get a big dog of my own just so he can join in with the others and give the neighbours a taste of their own medicine. How does it not bother anyone else?! Perhaps they have just become immune to it. A few weeks ago we looked after a friend’s dog, the gorgeous Holly who is very good, and quiet most of the time, but even she could not resist joining in with the barking occasionally. At first we told her to shush, be a good girl and quieten down, but after a while I thought, aw well sod it, see how they like it! It made me feel slightly better but I don’t think the neighbours even noticed!
CATS – Fighting / Yowling – Bucket of Water – enough said !
- DRUMMERS – YES you heard me correct – DRUMMERS! Last Saturday was Greek Independence day, on which most villages and schools march … with drums, noisy big loud drums. There is a drum school in the village (who knew!), that have to practice before school starts, when a big event such as Independence Day is due. But these guys like to mix it up a little, practicing up to midnight sometimes .. which for a woman who has to go to bed at 10pm due to the early starts and morning noise, is almost enough sometimes to make me commit Harikari.
OK – Phew – Rant over, what to do now? Well off to the shops to buy some earplugs I think, then a siesta after lunch – okay that’s a Spanish word I know, note to self – must find out if there is an equivalent word in Greek. I now truly believe having a siesta is nothing to do with escaping the mid-day sun, but a chance to get some rest after the early morning rude awakenings!
But what’s that noise? Niffa in the garden trimming the hedges …. oh no he doesn’t!! Anyway, I hope that you have a wonderful, peaceful, happy day. Next post I promise will be more cheerful – watch this space … coming soon – Reasons to be Cheerful, one, two, three 🙂
Love from Nelly x